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Funny Valentine's Day Jokes

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How about trying something new this Valentine's Day instead of the same traditional ways to make your loved one happy?spread happiness and smiles all over by cracking jokes on Valentine’s Day.
These jokes would surely tickle the funny bones of your love and add a new spice to your romantic celebrations for the day.
A Food Valentine


heart-foodCabbage always has a heart;
Green beans string along.
You're such a Tomato,
Will you Peas to me belong?
You've been the Apple of my eye,
You know how much I care;
So Lettuce get together,
We'd make a perfect Pear.
Now, something's sure to Turnip,
To prove you can't be Beet;
So, if you Carrot all for me
Let's let our tulips meet.
Don't Squash my hopes and dreams now,
Bee my Honey, dear;
Or tears will fill Potato's eyes,
While Sweet Corn lends an ear.
I'll Cauliflower shop and say
Your dreams are Parsley mine.
I'll work and share my Celery,
So be my valentine.
Happy Valentines Day!
Sweeter Side of Life

             Boyfriend is like a chocolate, “Taste good always”. Girlfriend is like Pizza, Hot n Spicy, “Delicious anytime”. Wife is like the refrigerated leftovers, “Eaten when no choice”. Husband is like a cooled off tea in a cup, “Headache on sip”.
valentine day heart
Question and Answers for Valentine’s Day

             Q: What did the Valentine card say to the stamp?
A: Stick with me and we'll go places!
Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?
A: I'm stuck on you.
Q: Who sends a thousand valentines cards signed', guess who'?
A: A divorce lawyer.
Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch?
A: You turn me on.
valentine hearts
How long have you been married?

             When a woman on the staff of the school became engaged, a friend and colleague offered her some advice.
“The first ten years are the hardest.”
“How long have you been married?” she asked.
“Ten years”, he replied.
funny-valentine
My One and Only Love

             Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, at a very smart jeweler’s shop in Hatton Garden, London.
The jeweler inquired, “Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?”
Roger thought for a moment, grinned, and then answered, “No, instead engrave ‘To my one and only love’.”
The jeweler smiled and said, “Yes, sir; how very romantic of you.”
Roger retorted with a glint in his eye, “Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again.”
valentines_day
A Thoughtful Valentine's Day Gift

             Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine's Day.
“Yes”, came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, “I've bought her a belt and a bag.”
“That was very kind of you”, Jim added, “I hope she appreciated the thought.”
Tony smiled as he replied, “So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now.”
valentine-heart
Ring in Wrong Finger

             Boring husband: Honey, why are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
Bored wife: Because I married the wrong man!
valentine roses
“Ex” Valentine’s

             A man went to the mall this last week to buy Valentine cards for his daughter and mother. The 50 feet displays of hundreds of cards astounded him. He muttered out loud, “I wonder if they have anything for ex-wives.”
The clerk behind the counter said, “Oh, yes sir, they do have an ‘ex’ category, but they’re in Sporting Goods.”
“Really?”
“Yes sir. They’re called darts.”
valentine
Meaning Of Dreams

             A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's Day. What do you think it means?"
"You'll know tonight." he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it only to find a book entitled "The meaning of dreams".
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Heart_of_roses
Source : valentinesday.fundootimes.com



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